Greatest New Wrestling Gimmick

For those of you who may have heard (or read in the latest Figure Four Weekly), I did indeed have a brush with death this past weekend. I’ll write something about it here sooner or later. For now, I want to tell you about the new greatest gimmick in professional wrestling. Anyone is free to take my idea and run with it, so long as they pay me $50 and a bag of Zesty Cheese Doritos.

What is it? Well, in the tradition of great characters/gimmicks like the Yukon Lumberjacks, Jos Leduc, The Moondogs, Grizzly Adams, Hillbilly Jim, Grizzly Redwood, Flapjack Norton, and Lumberjack Bubba comes…

KLONDIKE BART!

That’s right, the lumberjack/gold miner with his axe, flannel shirt and woolly cap. He even comes with a great catchphrase…

“What would YOU do for a Klondike Bart?”

I can hear the sound of cash registers ringing up record profits right now.

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